A Reply to Love
from the foot of the cross
I’ve had a partial box of cigarettes in my bag for a few days now. Why? In my case, it’s because we’ve entered Advent, a penitential season, an appropriate time to give things up.
“Welcome home!” I announced to the students on my bus as we pulled into the parking lot just a few blocks away from Our Lady of the Angels of the Portiuncula, which was our first stop before going up into the city of Assisi. We were on pilgrimage there with the students from the Franciscan University study abroad program in Gaming, Austria. We had just come from Rome, and many of us were eager for the quieter, slower pace of Assisi in contrast to the bustle of Rome. “This is your spiritual home, too,” I told them, “not just mine as a Franciscan Sister.”
Have you ever heard someone say they are being stalked by a saint? This might seem a bit jarring at first but I am here to attest that it is a very real experience.
This past week, four of us went on a pilgrimage to Rome and Assisi with Franciscan University’s study abroad program. Before arriving in Rome, we sisters and a T.O.R. Friar made a few of our own stops along the way. One of them was La Verna, Italy.
When I was growing up, my mom’s devotion to St. Joseph influenced me to pray to him for a good husband. Little did I know at the time that he was preparing to match me with the best possible husband in Jesus! After reaching a point in my discernment journey while I was in college in which I felt an equal attraction to the vocation of marriage and to the vocation of religious life, I spoke to a friend of mine who was also discerning religious life. She said she had just started a 30-day novena to St. Joseph for the intention of discerning her vocation. I didn’t even know there was such a novena, but since I thought it was a good idea, I successfully sought out a copy of this novena and began praying it the next day.
I’ve always known that the sacrifice we make as religious in not having families “of our own” is not merely a privation, nor only a way to put God at the absolute center of our lives. With all the distortions and failures in celibacy we see in the news, it may be hard to believe, but a life of celibacy “for the kingdom” is actually intended to open our hearts up and make room in them for a chaste and selfless love for the ever-growing family God entrusts to each of us.
One thing I love about my current work and ministry is that there is no “smoothing out” the rough edges of life. This can be a little painful at times (abrasion usually is!), but it also helps me to keep things very REAL in my own life and relationships, especially my relationship with God.
“For your penance, why don’t you go for a long walk, or maybe a run.”
I heard these words many times over school breaks during my college years, when we had an associate pastor at my home parish, Fr. Steve, who, though newly ordained, was wonderfully gentle. I think this is the only penance he ever gave me.
