I sat on a mat close to the rock altar, playing with a rock as I prayed to Jesus. I thought about where I was - in the Holy Land in the middle of a war.
One might say one of the most historically messiest places on earth. Here is where Jesus chose to come. Here is where Jesus chose to manifest His love. “Will you love with Me in the mess?” I heard Him say. My maternal heart was already aflame. The whole day I had been meeting with students. The night before I had met with a student on a rock by the sea, discussing chastity. I wondered in awe how many talks Jesus had with people on these rocks. How many chastity talks did Jesus have? How many times did He stop what He was doing and give Himself to the person in front of Him? How many times did He long to go off and pray in solitude but was prevented from doing so, overwhelmed with love for His people? My heart was feeling the same. Student after student. Meeting after meeting for the rest of that night. “Yes, it seems, I can love with You in the mess. I want to love with You in the mess.”
At some point in this conversation with the Lord, I looked down at my rock.....and soon realized it was not a rock at all! It was a full seashell, with both ends still attached. I opened it up and my mind was immediately brought back to the time right before I entered the convent (which was 7 years ago): My parents threw a big going away party for me....all the family and my friends were invited. We had a beautiful Mass, followed by a four-course meal. The Gospel reading for that day was Matthew 13:45–46. "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant searching for fine pearls. When he finds a pearl of great price, he goes and sells all that he has and buys it."
Though there was no actual pearl in that shell, I knew what the Lord was speaking to me. He was reaffirming my vocation as a religious sister. I have found the pearl of great price. I have found Him whom my soul loves. I have left everything to follow Him. Now He was asking for my life-long commitment. (As a junior sister, I have not yet professed my final vows, up to now they have been renewed yearly.) He was offering once more this pearl to me, to be mine forever, through the vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience. I also noticed that the shell opened up in the exact same way a ring box opens.
- Sr. Lisa Marie Shatynski, T.O.R.
