I am sitting with Jesus in the chapel just marveling at His goodness as I ponder how He’s worked this Advent! The Scripture sticking out to me from Isaiah says, “Why do you let us wander, O Lord, from your ways?” (Isaiah 63:17-19)
This moment of prayer is caused by a full day of many wonderful encounters and good conversations. It started by taking a dozen college students from Florida State University to a local homeless shelter. It was a delight to watch the students so eagerly serve in any way possible and see the gratitude and joy on the faces of those being cared for. I spent time talking with a couple who very recently lost their apartment and had no means of supporting themselves. How powerful it was to hear hope, gratitude, and trust in every sentence they spoke to me. The man asked, “Can I ask you a question? How has God worked in your life?” After taking turns sharing God’s providential care in our lives, he asked, “How can someone reject God? He is too good!” What a beautiful question to ponder! “Why do you let us wander, O Lord, from your ways?”
After a beautiful time of service, all the students and I gathered to pray, share graced moments, and express the challenges in the ministry. One student, expressing how difficult it is to watch people suffering, asked, “Why do bad things happen to good people?!?” This question, although different, again reminded me of Isaiah: “Why do you let us wander, O Lord, from your ways?”
The rest of the day was spent with ninth graders on their confirmation retreat. I had taught the majority of them the year before and it was uplifting to watch them lock into the prayer times during retreat! Shortly after arriving, I once again was reminded of Isaiah when I was peppered with questions from the students on purgatory, hell, sin, and “Why does God allow us to hurt Him?” What deep and profound questions from such beautiful, innocent young people!
After all this came a moment of a tangible answer to these questions. We offered prayer ministry for the students and one teenager came up for prayer, shaking and crying. When asked how we could pray with her, I heard a few feeble, squeaky words of, “I don’t know, anxiety, and fear.” Words cannot describe the next few sacred moments of observing this beloved daughter in her complete weakness, crippling fear, and self-hatred allow herself to be seen by the powerful, penetrating, and loving gaze of the Lord.
This sacred moment was the tangible answer to those numerous questions. An answer to why the Lord allows us to wander is for each of us to know we are truly, unconditionally loved. For some, like the couple I met earlier that day, it takes reaching the lowest point before that truth sinks in.
What a powerful way to press into Advent as we prepare for Christ to make Himself poor and enter into our depravity simply to tell us how much we are loved. May God bless your preparation!
- Sr. Bridget Schlangen, T.O.R.
