Do you feel like you are still waiting at the tomb? Do you feel like you are missing the graces of the resurrection during this Easter Season? It’s OK to be in the place you find yourself right now. Our whole life is the Paschal Mystery. We follow Christ by experiencing what he experienced. When we are in the midst of suffering, we are with Him on Good Friday. Death, darkness, sorrow, pain, separation, and grief are all part of being at the tomb on Holy Saturday. Then, as on that first Easter morning, we experience the joy, hope, healing, and peace of the resurrection.
Suffering or watching someone we love suffer is a part of all of our stories. The cross comes in many forms: divorce, addiction, shame, sickness, COVID-19, death, etc. No one wants to experience a Good Friday, and when we do, we want to go straight from Good Friday to Easter Sunday. We want to skip Holy Saturday. We don’t want to feel or remember the pain. We want to pretend we are fine. However, I can’t just pretend my mom didn’t die last year. There is no way to skip over the hard emotions that go with death, sorrow, and pain. We have to move through them for the resurrection to come. We need to go to the tomb.
Going to the tomb on Holy Saturday means not knowing that it’s going to be OK or that you’re going to be able to stop crying. It’s not knowing if God will come through; it’s the feeling that nothing is OK and nothing is ever going to be OK—it’s utter hopelessness! You don’t have to conjure up hope. Just have the courage to name the despair. Stay with it. Linger in the grief and sorrow because it’s there and it’s zapping your energy and weighing you down. So spend time with those feelings and be OK with where you are. We need to wait at the tomb.
In Isaiah 61:3, it says, “The reason he was sent is to comfort all who mourn, to provide for those who grieve, to bestow a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” God is at the tomb, waiting for us to come! He wants to break open all that is buried in us and restore all that was lost.
The hard work is not just going into the sorrow and grief; it is also allowing someone to be kind to you in it, and receiving comfort, mainly from God! Comfort and kindness heal. If we don’t give ourselves the space to be sad and tell God how much we are hurting, then he can’t console us. He can’t comfort us unless we come and tell him what we need! We can’t resist our feelings, or stay on the surface, or fantasize about better times. We must go down into the depths of the pain. Name it so that you can grieve it and so that you can be comforted by God.
Picture yourself when you felt at your worst, walk to the tomb with Mary Magdalene while it was still dark out, wait for him, and grieve. Sit with your pain, hopelessness, sorrow, and anger. The tomb is a place where you can fall down, where you don’t have to have it all together, where you can fall apart. Go there like Mary Magdalene to wait on Him, to let the tears flow out, and to be close to Him.
Let God show up in your story and be surprised by His kindness toward you, because that is where healing happens! May you experience the gift of His healing word and touch that is unique to you. He knows what fits your heart best!
Sr. Rita Clare Yoches, T.O.R.
NOTE: If you are interested in learning more about healing and the ideas shared here, listen to Adam Young’s podcast called "The Place We Find Ourselves", particularly episodes 24-26 on “How Healing Happens” (Parts 1-3).
