“I am like a dish that is broken”. This is from Psalm 31, which is read during the Celebration of the Lord’s Passion on Good Friday. A few days ago I overcrowded a dish rack that was about to go through our industrial dishwasher. As I moved the rack into position, a large 9 x 13 glass Pyrex dish suddenly made a bid for freedom and launched itself off the dish rack. Before my wide-open eyes and paralyzed arms it made a highly impressive smash with a bouncing shard even managing to cut my “ring toe” on the way back up. Shattered pieces of glass were everywhere! It reminded me of how I felt a little while ago after an argument with a sister.
It started with a difficult encounter that made me think of “Good Friday”. My own weaknesses and wounds manifested during our exchange and in the process I felt disjointed and emotionally shattered. My sharp edges were embarrassingly on display and some wounds from the past were lacerated and started bleeding freely again. The dispersion of my normal sense of control torpedoed the illusion I try to project of “having it all together”. I felt embarrassed, exposed and ashamed.
A few days later the two of us talked. I was then reminded of Holy Saturday. We were still to some extent in our respective “tombs”. Full restoration and integration was still to come, but it was a start. I was conscious of the “stone” that I rolled in front of my heart as I sought to protect myself in the course of our conversation.
A couple of days later we talked again. Now I was reminded of Easter Sunday. Our exchange was different this time. It was still a little “messy” but we shared openly, freely and honestly. We apologized sincerely to one another and expressed our sisterly love for one another. There was a new “explosion” but this time it was of light, of warmth and of renewed relationship. I have always loved and admired this sister and I felt even closer to her now. I was (to my complete surprise) even grateful for our Good Friday encounter as it had opened up this door to a new and even greater connection. We ended by giving each other the “arm outstretched bird-wing hug” that we’ve grown temporarily accustomed to in these days of in-house virus restrictions on hugs.
It reminded me of the fact that we are invited to share in the Paschal Mystery in the very course of our daily lives. During these days of suffering and “tomb-like” separation from those we love may we remember that Christ is alive and close to us all and that a new season of reunion, integration and resurrection will come!
“For if we have grown into union with him through a death like his, we shall also be united with him in the resurrection… If then we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him.” (Romans 6)
Sr. Miriam O'Callaghan, T.O.R.
