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Early one morning, there was a crowd on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, and four fishermen were bending over their nets, washing them. They saw the crowd, but hardly took notice. Their minds were on their beds, for they had been hard at work all night long and had nothing to show for it. The bright sunshine of the morning reflecting on the water just hurt their tired eyes.
This weekend, the Maronite deacons, sub-deacons, and their wives gathered at the Shrine of Our Lady of Lebanon for a retreat. They came from all over the country, seeking refreshment, rest, fellowship, and good food—physical and spiritual. Fr. Boniface Hicks, OSB and Fr. Tom Acklin, OSB nourished them with teachings on the grace and gift of spiritual direction. A few of us sisters were asked to be present as well to help offer spiritual direction primarily for the wives. Fr. Boniface and Fr. Tom’s talks opened their hearts not only to want spiritual direction, but also to desire a deeper, more intimate and personal relationship with Jesus.
But suddenly, the rabbi who had been in the area for a few days approached Simon to ask if he could push his boat out a little way from the shore so that he could teach the crowd from a place where all could see and hear him. Simon looked at his brother Andrew who shrugged his shoulders. Turning back to Jesus, he said, “Sure.” It wasn’t until after Jesus was seated and began teaching the crowd that Simon realized this meant he was not going to go to bed anytime soon. He couldn’t exactly leave the rabbi sitting in his boat and go off to bed. Besides, he began, in spite of himself, to be interested in what he was saying.
Because time was limited, our meetings with each person who signed up were only 20-30 minutes in length. Even though the time was short, I discovered that God can do a lot in a short amount of time with a heart that is open to Him. The men and women seemed hungry to learn how to pray more deeply. They thirsted for a personal, loving encounter with Jesus Christ. In response to their hunger and thirst, I tried to help some of them enter in more fully to the scriptures by using this passage from Luke 5.
When he finished speaking, Jesus turned to Simon and said, “Put out into deep water and lower your nets for a catch.” Simon, still tired, and feeling a bit cranky now, replied, “Master, we have been hard at it all night long and have caught nothing…” As he caught the look in Jesus’ eyes, he remembered that he had recently healed his mother-in-law, and added, “but if you say so, I will lower the nets.”
As I led them to reflect on this scripture and I had the blessing of hearing how it touched their hearts, I realized that Jesus desired to use this same passage to touch my heart too. One woman told me that Jesus had given her everything she had ever prayed for. It reminded both of us of the miraculous catch of abundant fish. She had abundant blessings and knew she was loved. Yet she wanted to hear the voice of Jesus speak to her heart in a personal way. I, too, have been abundantly blessed in my life, but like this woman, I have sometimes felt like the abundant catch of fish was not the only thing for which I hungered.
When they lowered the nets, it didn’t take long at all before they were heavy with fish and pulling on the side of the boat. Simon was shocked at first, but as they began to pull the fish into the boat, his shock changed to alarm. There were so many fish, they could not pull them all in, and the boat was nearly ready to sink. He signaled to James and John, his partners, and they came out with their boat to help them. When all the fish had been pulled into boats, Simon looked at them all—even Jesus was standing knee deep in fish, panting for air from the exertion. He let out a roar of laughter! They all laughed with him, and then began to row back to shore. Fearful, amazed, and suddenly overwhelmed, Simon fell at Jesus’ knees, “Leave me, Lord, I am a sinful man.” Jesus smiled and lifted him up. “Do not be afraid. From now on you will be catching men.”
How does Jesus look at Simon? How does He look at me? Is there a twinkle in His eyes? A smile on His face? Can I let Him look at me with love and know that He cares about what is on my mind and heart today? Do I dare to put out into the deep water and trust that He will not only provide for my needs abundantly, but also meet the deepest desire of my heart? God cannot be outdone in generosity, and as I tried to help others open their hearts to Jesus in a deeper way in prayer, I felt called to open my heart anew to Jesus as well. I had responded to the request to be present, hoping to share a little of what God has given me. But like the disciples who unexpectedly ended up with two boatloads of fish, I came home with “boatloads” of blessings!
On this day on which we celebrate St. John Paul II and his legacy, let us ask his intercession for us, that we might live this scripture. He often told us with his words and with his life: Do not be afraid to put out into the deep with Jesus!
Sr. Mary Catherine Kasuboski, T.O.R.
