When I was very young, I thought the title “Our Lady of Sorrows” sounded sad and morbid. One year during Lent when I was in college, someone gave me a copy of the prose version of the “Stabat Mater,” which is the hymn that is often sung in three-line stanzas when we pray the Stations of the Cross. I was struck deeply by the prose, which is a much closer translation of the Latin prayer. As I prayed and pondered it, I began to see the Passion of Jesus through Mary’s eyes.
This perspective enriched my meditation on the Passion immeasurably. For one thing, I felt like her experience of the Passion of Jesus was closer to my own. I could not imagine myself being scourged, carrying the cross, or being crucified with Christ, but I could see myself watching Jesus do all this with and through the eyes of His Mother Mary.
The Stabat Mater prayer also asks Mary specifically to “pierce my heart once and forever with the wounds of your crucified Son. Let me share with you the pain of your Son’s wounds…” It goes on to ask, “Grant that my tears of love mingle with yours and that, as long as I live, I may feel the pains of my crucified Lord. To stand with you beside the cross and be your companion in grief is my own wish.” Although this dynamic is played out in my own life countless times in ministry experiences, a couple of years ago I had the opportunity to walk with a close friend through a very painful time in her life. As she went through her own interior crucifixion, I was there to listen, support, encourage, and pray. I experienced the truth of the saying that to watch someone we love suffer is harder than to bear our own pains and sufferings. I joined my sorrows and sufferings to the feminine, motherly heart of Mary, and knew that my pain was understood and supported by her in a way no one else could. I believe I grew closer to her in those difficult months, and I came to love meditating on her sorrows in a deep and personal way. I could identify with her heart and how she compassioned her Son in His sufferings.
The sorrows of motherhood are as real to us as spiritual mothers as they are to physical mothers. Praying the Passion of Jesus with Mary has led me to a deep understanding of the sufferings common to all women. Many women have shared their sorrows with me—sorrows that often involve or are caused by their own children—and I always feel like I am imitating Mary, the Sorrowful Mother, as I listen to them and seek to offer them some solace.
I no longer think that Mary’s title “Our Lady of Sorrows” is merely sad and morbid. Now I know it is full of depth, beauty, and meaning because Christ’s sufferings have given meaning to all our sufferings. Being with Mary in our sufferings gives us the courage to face them with grace and tenderness. “Come then, mother, from whom all love springs, make me understand the meaning of your sorrow that I may mourn with you. Make my heart burn with the love of Christ, my God, that he may look on me with favor.”
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-Sr. Mary Catherine Kasuboski, T.O.R.
