Sr. Mary Rose
consecrated
I grew up in one of the sunniest and most temperate climates in the world, in La Jolla, California, in San Diego. We lived 2 miles from the ocean, and hence in my teens I was a regular ‘beach bum,’ doing lots of swimming, body surfing, ‘hanging out’ at friend’s pool-sides, horse-back riding and, of course, shopping for the latest fashions in clothing. I was baptized a Catholic, but the family stopped going to Church when I was just 3 years old. After that, our family had no affiliation with any Church or denomination. However, my parent’s avid search for truth led me to be exposed to various beliefs. During high school, I was preoccupied with ‘outward appearance' - finding a good looking boyfriend, being popular, driving a nice car, and shopping for cute clothes. I regularly attended party’s and drank alcohol excessively, anxiously trying to hide my insecurities as I went along with the crowd. This led to increased emptiness inside, and discouragement over the person I had become.
I was 13 yrs old when my parents divorced, it was a profound rupture in our family of 8. Throughout my high school years however, I observed my mother’s complete transformation from deep depression to prison chaplain ministry, hosting bible study classes in our home, and practicing heroic forgiveness toward those who hurt her. During my senior year of high school my mother returned to the Catholic Church and began to invite my siblings and I to various events including Healing Masses, Bible study, Retreats, etc. Finally, after I resisted for months, I agreed to attend Mass. I was shocked to find the people at Mass so ‘outward’ in their expression of their love for God, raising their hands in praise, singing loudly as they participated in the liturgy, and hugging me as if I was a family member, although they had never known me. I saw something in them that I also noticed in my mother, and that I wished to possess, true peace of soul, genuine kindness and acceptance of all people, and a love for God that seemed tangible and was an abundant source of joy in their lives.
As a senior in high school I began to read the bible, voraciously seeking for truth, longing for the same faith, merciful love and joy I had seen in my mother. Once, when my mother prayed with me, I began to understand why she was so excited about God and why she spoke about God so frequently. As she prayed with me, and invited me to ask Jesus to come into my heart and reveal himself to me, I had an adult experience of my infant baptism, in which I felt God’s presence like liquid love flow through my entire being. From the top of my head to the tips of my toes I felt God’s love fill me, as if I was a newborn infant, innocent and pure like an infant at their Baptism. It was as if God’s plan and story of my life had only just begun. I truly experienced being made a new creation, given a new identity as a member of God’s family.
At age 18, after checking out the local churches, protestant and catholic, I decided to join the Catholic Church, and to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation. I dove into Catholic belief wholeheartedly, praying daily, attending weekly bible studies, retreats, serving in music ministry, doing works of service and reading a variety of spiritual classics to satisfy my new spiritual thirst. My whole aim was to discover God’s will and purpose for my life. My former interests, habits and vices vanished away, and I began to understand what it meant to live a holy, Spirit-filled life as a disciple of Christ. I was no longer bound by my former insecurities and fears, but deeply understood that God loves me as a precious daughter, and Jesus, only begotten Son of the Heavenly Father, freely gave up his life so I might have life eternal. By coming to know Christ, I found the deepest joy I had ever known.
One evening, when I returned home from a weekly bible study, I parked my car in front of my house, and the word ‘consecrated’ popped into my mind, as if from nowhere. I knew I couldn’t have thought of this word on my own, for I didn’t even know it’s definition. Not having been raised Catholic, this word was foreign to me. I found a dictionary, and eagerly read, “Consecrated: to be set aside by God for holy purposes, such as a vessel or a person.” For the first time I wondered if God wanted to set me aside, to be consecrated to Him. I was 19 years old. Throughout the next few years, I began to visit convents of sisters and learn about religious life. Over the course of the next 7 ½ years my desires wavered between the vocation of marriage and religious life.
While attending Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio I met other women also discerning their vocation, and we began a support group to help us discern our life’s call. During this time, one of the confirmations that I received from God about my vocation to be a religious sister was while reading my bible. It was as if God was speaking directly to me through these written words from the prophet Isaiah: “…as a young man marries a virgin, so shall your God marry you, and as a Bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so shall your God rejoice over you” (Is. 62:5). I understood this scripture passage as God’s invitation to marry Him, to belong to Him exclusively as a bride! I was filled with wonder at such a divine invitation. I felt deeply humbled by my own unworthiness, as I imagined Mary felt when the angel appeared and asked her to be the mother of the Messiah.
In 1988 I watched our new Franciscan Order being formed before my eyes. A group of 2 Religious Sisters and 5 students who were my friends and acquaintances at Franciscan University of Steubenville, were forming a new community of sisters on campus who intended to follow a contemplative and active way of life, including much prayer and also dedicated to ministry. I had, in years previous, visited a number of convents including those committed to full time ministry as well as those committed solely to prayer (cloistered), none of which I was drawn to join. Then, it seemed like this new order fit perfectly with my own hopes and aspirations for a life of both prayer and ministry, and to embrace a Franciscan spirituality. In 1989 I joined the Franciscan Sisters, Third Order Regular of Penance of the Sorrowful Mother, and made a perpetual profession of vows in 1994. It has been an exciting journey as a religious sister, full of grace beyond measure, and certainly the greatest joy of my life. To God be glory and praise forever!
